Lifestyle
Comments 15

Feeling beautiful, feeling fine

I have to admit that during most of my life I’ve been ashamed of being a beauty addict. Of course I know that watching Lisa Eldridge’s makeup tutorials and getting excited about the latest Charlotte Tilbury lipstick doesn’t make me forget all the books that I’ve read, all my working experience and, under no circumstances, erases any neuron of my brain. But forgive me, I doubt about myself and feel stupid if I get passionate about a new eyeshadow palette or a friend laughs at my obsession with smooth hair. What can I say? Maybe I’m stupid, maybe I’ve been influenced by a society that encourages women to be ultra girly/ feminine only to make fun of them for it afterwards. Notice that just as I was writing this I’ve spent a fair amount of time thinking whether in this context the words feminine and girly could be understood as an insult/offensive/ chauvinist. Or if by saying feminine here I’m implying that other women who don’t like makeup or skincare are less feminine. Obviously, they are not. Ugh. This whole thing makes me nervous…

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I want to be me and talk for hours about face masks, jump and shout a little when I come across a Sephora and share my excitement when I found a miracle product that makes my hair less frizzy but I also want to be taken seriously and ultimately I don’t want to be ashamed of myself if I write a long post about beauty products. Ugh. I am my worst critic and I know most of the women that read this blog (according to Google Analytics you are 75% female, 25% male) have had that feeling at some point. Why do I have to look beautiful but then feel bad for caring about it?

I guess the answer is simple: if feeling beautiful makes you feel good about yourself, there’s nothing wrong about it. And please note that I’m writing this to believe it myself. It’s difficult to face those patronizing smiles at work if, during my lunch break, I get caught talking with a fellow colleague about a new mascara or if I mention that my no longer available yet beloved keratin treatment made me spent more than 4 hours in the salon and someone shouts at me: whaaaaat??? 4 hours in a salon??? The big project at work I successfully carried out is forgotten, now I’m the woman who spends 4 hours doing her hair. EXCUSE ME BUT I CARE ABOUT MY HAIR!!! #sorrynotsorry. Am I, though?…. See? Feeling stupid again. Ugh. It hurts even more if such a comment comes from another female. I don’t know why but it does. Maybe it’s because lots of times those talks about hair, make up and other bits and bobs are the secret to start a great female friendship, a sort of secret camaraderie.

By the way, this post is one of the most popular on the blog and it addresses my hair so I guess we all care about hair here. THANK YOU.

What I’m trying to say is that I don’t want to hide the things that I like. Whether it’s hair, makeup palettes, contemporary dance or geopolitics. And since I believe that one has to be the change he or she wants to see in society, I’m going to try and feel better about all this. Starting right now with three things that make me feel better.

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First thing, OBVIOUSLY, an eyeshadow palette. My gorgeous ABH Modern Reinassance. How beautiful is this palette? It’s funny how pink-ish shades were the worst a few years ago and now they are everywhere. I love that this palette makes beautiful sunset-like eyes for Summer and those berry shades are going to help me transition to Autumn like a nice fluffy sock slides into an old soft leather boot. I love it so much that sometimes I just stare at it for a few minutes. Those colors! The pigments! Oh, I love it. Besides I’ve already mentioned here that those ten minutes I spend putting on makeup every morning are my very own meditation. I’m alone at home, the house is quiet, I think about whatever I have to do during the day and I’m surrounded of pretty things. I feel safe and fine at that moment.

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This lipstick has became my favourite. As much as I love a power red, my lips are not cooperating lately and every time I apply it I turn into the Joker. However,  since I was a kid I’ve found that lipstick has something powerful and reassuring, it’s like a good coat, something you put on before leaving the house that makes you feel prepared to face whatever is outside that door. Red lipstick is the valyrian steel of lipsticks, of course, but since the older I get, the more difficult it’s for me to pull it off (those little wrinkles around my mouth absorb all the pigment! Ugh) this subtle pink matte lipstick has been my go to. It looks like you are not wearing lipstick, but you now you are. It’s a self-confidence lipstick.

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Finally, the scent that both of us have been using on repeat for the last month. It’s supposed to be for men, but we love it and who cares? If we like it, we wear it and most of our favourite scents come from the men section. My favourite smell is clean (clean hair, clean sheets, clean house, clean clothes… clean, clean, clean) and Loewe’s SOLO CEDRO smells like clean grandpa. Wait, it sounds weird, I know but bear with me. It’s absolutely one of the best smells in the world: a little bit manly but not overly so, woody yet fresh, with a hint of lavender, therefore smells like a fresh, safe, warm hug. Like a grandpa! Again, it feels good.

And if you feel good, you’ll feel beautiful. And if you feel beautiful, you’ll feel fine. So I’m determined to feel good about myself and if that means talking about eyeshadows, I’m going to talk about them! And it feeling beautiful means smelling like a grandpa, bring it on! Whatever it takes!

15 Comments

  1. Never feel guilty for being passionate about beauty and skin/hair care! Although yup I’d feel daft too when talking to my work mates about a new mascara that made my lashes look great or a fave lippy coz they’d just politely nod with a distant look in their eyes lol. I’ve joined a beauty group on Facebook now though so I can happily talk about it all day with like minded people haha. xx

    • That’s a great idea! I’ve never thought about it. Can you tell me which group is it? In case everyone can join, of course.
      What makes me mad is the fact that I’m ashamed when I know I shouldn’t be! I have to work on that and just don’t give such an importance to what others think, I guess. It’s about time…

  2. Lee Ann says

    SO understand you! My darling other half doesn’t get why I need to go out clothes shopping every once in a while or why I pull clothes from my closet on a random Saturday to “test prep” outfits. She always looks great, but she says she’s “a consumer, not a shopper.” She knows what she likes, so she buys the same Ralph Lauren shirt in different colors, the same Cole Haan loafers, etc., and she’s set. I, on the other hand, want to see what’s out there and what new trends look like on me. Maybe I haven’t really found my style self …???? All to say, it feels nice to look good, and I think feeling good about one’s self is important to self esteem. Not necessarily narcissistic, just … comfortable.

    • Absolutely! Feeling good in one’s skin is really important. Whether it comes from a good session at the gym, a nice time with friends, a good book or a moment alone with makeup, the feeling of self confidence is what matters!

  3. I know folk who think what I do is dumb, so there’s no pleasing (all) people. What matters is what you feel passionate about and what gives you pleasure.

    I love scents from the mens section too! The Leowe Solo Cedro sounds wonderfully refreshing.

    • That scent has been our favourite for a while! It’s a little bit tricky to get ahold of if you are not in Spain, but you can buy it online.
      We are trying to stop caring so much about what other think but it’s difficult, to be honest!

  4. That introduction was awesome. Never feel ashame of your passion and never stop doing what makes you happy! I know the feeling when your entourage tell you how you spend so much effort/time/money on all this superficial things i.e. makeup/clothes/shoes etc.. I love taking care of myself too, nevertheless am I stupid, or at least I don’t think I am 😉

    • Sometimes I do care too mcuh about what others think about me and my decisions… Maybe something to work as a New Year resolution? (By the way, September feels like New Year, isn’t it?)

      • There’s no need to wait for New Year, everyday is a good time to change for the better 😉. You just have to go at it slowly, and be patient ☺

  5. Pingback: Everyday jewellery | The slow pace

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