If you don’t live under a rock, you’ll know Kayla Itsines. Together with her boyfriend she has created a series of guides – the Bikini Body Guides – that are supposed to take you from coach potato to beach babe. So last October we decided to give them a try. Just look at the hashtag #bbgprogress on Instagram and you will be, at least, intrigued. Well, after completing the first round (there are three of them) I have my own thoughts about this famous fitness programm.
Did I loose weight? No, I never do. Do I have a crazy toned body? Unfortunately, no. I’m still an ameba. Am I stronger? No, I still can’t open a jar without help. Do I feel better? Yes. And let me tell you something, it’s really hard for me to admit that I feel better because I HATE sports. Yes, with capital letters. I feel betrayed and disappointed if a friend of mine becomes a runner. We are the ones that love eating chocolates while watching a marathon of How to get away with murder! How can you do this to me????? We don’t play sports, we eat and laze around! That’s who we are!
Well, I’m still the person who hates going to the gym. I never run, even if I’m missing my bus. I believe carbs are little pieces of heaven on Earth. But I will concede this: being able to finish this torture disguised as a fitness routine has made me feel proud of myself. With the first burpee (if you don’t know what that is: that’s evil turned movement) I thought I was going to die. But I kept on doing burpees and other complicated, painful movements. Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I didn’t do everything perfectly. I just couldn’t. But I did what I could. Of course, you are supposed to do cardio every other day, but some weeks I didn’t. Spinning was my cardio of choice (reasons here) but if you work from 9 a.m. to 11.30 p.m. like I did almost every day in November, living is your cardio, no bother going to the gym.
They say the program will take just 28 minutes of your day, but that’s not true: you have to warm up (5 minutes), then you will TRY to do the exercises in 28 minutes (sometimes I spent more than that trying to catch my breath between push-ups) and then you have to stretch (or just lay down for half an hour, almost unconcious. There is a reason why the hashtag “death by Kayla” exists). And afterwards you shower, wash your hair and use every lotion on the planet. So add 3 extra hours. Just kidding (not).
So, bearing in mind that I didn’t cardio my heart out during these three months, that I wasn’t on a diet (just eating healthy like I normally do, but adding chocolate to my menu everyday because life without chocolate simply has no meaning) and that I’m in my 30’s, I’m happy with the results. Of course, I can’t compare myself to the teenagers doing the program because with just three squats their booties go up to their neck. After these three moths mine is perkier, so that’s ok. I can’t have slim, toned legs and arms because that’s not my body type. But I feel like my limbs are slightly stronger, so that’s ok too. I do feel lighter and less bloated, I think the exercise has helped me to feel that way, at least psychologically.
Let’s face it: it has been good for me. Maybe I don’t look like all those wonderful girls posting their transformation pictures on Instagram, but my joints are happier. This guide has given me a fitness discipline that I wouldn’t have achieved any other way. Since it gives you a very precise and organized schedule, it makes you feel tremendously guilty if you don’t stick to it. So it’s kind of emotional blackmail, but hey, it’s for your own good.
I hated every minute of the program. Every single one. But I feel proud because three months later I can do 15 burpees on a row. Do I swear and look like the bright red sister of the Michelin man while doing so? Of course! But well, at least I’m trying. And that’s how I live: I might not be the best, but I try. So, we’ll repeat the BBG first round (I don’t think I’m mentally prepared for round two, let alone phisically) and , who knows? Maybe try the second one afterwards. And I won’t do it to look fantastic in a bikini. That’s a lost cause. I will do it because, even though I will always hate sports, this is good for me. And that’s what matters.